Applying To Be Your Trophy Wife

Tiffany Round Solitaire

City girls know how to analyze a company’s balance sheet. City girls know how to draft watertight warranties. But when it comes to matters of the heart, they just can’t seem to seal the deal.

So I went on a date with another banker. A guy I met at a bar. Nothing new so far.

At the time I was mostly charmed by his geeky pick up line: “I just love computers, always have, always will. Since the age of seven, I have spent most of my free time programming.” Rainmen here had all the appearances of a quirky, trustworthy, yet attractive fellow. No STDs or nutty exes attached. He had me at Ctrl+Alt+Delete. I was logged on.

However, Rainman forgot to disclose that he is the son of a business tycoon, and heir to the bank’s emporium. Geek chic!

Consequently, pressure was on. Before I knew it, I could be applying to be the next Ivana Trump. Without ambition for a career as a jetsetting golddigger (and simultaneously with a sound foundation in commitment phobia), I was somewhat stiff on the chopsticks that first date.

Whilst contemplating whether it would be bon ton to stuff my mouth with a giant maki in its entirety, Rainman popped the question. How about my personal life - was I ready for marriage and kids anytime soon? Rainman turned into a one-man show called Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire!

The maki crumbled with my cool. It fell into pieces on my platter. It was a good thing that my mouth was stuffed with a fishy rice ball, for I would not have known what to answer. To that question, or any further question for that matter. All of a sudden, I was applying for the position of trophy wife. That’s not fair. You wouldn't apply at Microsoft without the proper preparation.

So I went silent. Neither was Rainman very talkative. A number cruncher and a terrified girl sharing sushi in silence. Sake was no option as we still had to drive.

How to break the silence? There is only one way to let a girl loosen up without a drink in that situation. Boys, man up: kiss the girl, seal the deal!

Life is all about seizing opportunities. As in traffic, hesitating in love can be fatal. Shyness grew into awkwardness, and I proposed to Rainman we call it a night.

So much for my future life as trophy wife.