X-Factor Has the X-Factor

Cheryl Cole on The X-Factor

Why, oh why, do we need to go out this weekend when we have this TV delight on at home? This is entertainment if ever there was. If the bars and the restaurants are empty on Saturday night - love it or loathe it - this is why. The X-Factor.

At work I cannot mention this show for fear of being escorted from the building. But when we’re told fifteen million people are watching this show, I’m not sure why I still feel guilty confessing that I'm addicted. Nothing has held my attention like this since...well, ever.

By choice I would be confined within the walls of my house between 8-9.30pm on Saturday night (and Sunday night too), though sometimes common decency kicks in and I have to go out and socialise with my friends. Damn. But let me just say that whomever invented SkyPlus is my hero. Without this invention I would miss my weekly fix of primetime TV.

Jedward prancing about on the stage (I used to hate them buuuuuuut they’re kind of growing on me after that comical Ghostbusters rendition), listening to Lloyd’s voice break (am I the only one who’s surprised he’s still here?), Olly’s suave moves (this guy is a shoe-in to win surely?), Daniel’s cocky/coy personality (it’s always a gamble and not one I look forward to), Joe’s theatrical voice (give this guy a ballad, would you Cheryl?), and Stacey Solomon’s oh-so-unique entertainment (and an amazing voice too). As Robbie William’s said “every home should have one”. So true. The world would be a far happier place. And let’s not forget what’s Cheryl wearing, what’s Dannii’s hair is doing, and the all-important question: What’s Simon going to say? (We don’t really care about Louis, do we?)

My money’s on the Essex clan - boy or girl. Olly was working in customer service and Stacey was a waitress. Unbelievable! Crikey, the person sitting next to you could be the next Leona Lewis. I can’t wait for the Christmas party this year. Bring on the karaoke.

The only thing I can’t bring myself to do is vote. Not yet. That, I tell myself, really would be going too far. Never say never though...

But if you really do loathe this show, get yourself to the pub. You can be sure all the X- Factor fans will be tucked up at home.