My First Toy Boy

Futbolin - Marc Garrido i Puig

I have a great online life. I’m heavily embroiled in all the social networking and dating sites. I’m always online. Contrary to the belief of most City employers, this is a great way to pass the working day. 

There is just one key anomaly between by real life and my virtual life - my age. Online I either remain silent on this point, or stick rigidly to a youthful 27 years, the reality being that I am almost 31. My aging policy is one virtual year for every three years that pass in the real world. This approach is downside free until the online world and offline worlds meet.

I met a gorgeous boy (we are talking perfect in every way) at the last party and there was an instant mutual attraction. Many drinks later the question of age arose. I surprised myself when “I’m 27” rolled off my tongue as easily in the real world as it did online. He was 26.

I couldn’t wait to date him. And date him I did, many times. Nice dinners, boozy all-dayers, fun in the sun in the park - until he slipped up and revealed that he was in fact 22. I found myself bang in the middle of a double age lie. And a double age lie that meant I would have left sixth form before he’d started senior school, when I was having my first sip of cider in the park at 14, he was 6, and the icing on Pinocchio’s cake - he’d never heard of Grange Hill!

I confessed as well and our reactions to the revelation of the truth couldn’t have been more different. His exact words were, “That is awesome!” My immediate thought was about what his mum would say to me about taking advantage of her little boy.

I also had some internal turmoil to deal with about why I was so attracted to the young ones. And unfortunately, I’m still trying to resolve that one.

- Clicked Up