The news that The Voice of the London Underground was fired is old. But did you hear the messages she recorded (the ones that "weren't the reason she was let go")? They're pretty funny. The ultimate 'Sound Off', if you will.
Our favourites include:
"Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read a paper, but is actually staring at that woman's chest, please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert."
"We'd like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loud."
"Passengers are reminded that a smile is actually a friendship signal and not a sign of weakness."
"Would the passenger in the pinstripe suit and £1000 glasses who obviously works in the media, please take one step forward on to the track as the train arrives. Thank you."
"Passengers are reminded that, like all voiceover artists, I probably look nothing like you imagine and may turn out to be somewhat of a disappointment."
"Would passengers filling in answers on the Sudokus please accept that they're just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers."