As we come to the end of another action-packed year, CityNews is pleased to announce the winners of this year's Alternative Investment Banking Awards.
The 'I'm A CEO Get Me Out Of Here' Award
Winner - Andrew Pisker, DrKW's former CEO, who quit last week following the announcement of a Dresdner Bank restructure.
Risk Management Firm Of The Year
Winner - Refco Inc., for allegedly successfully hiding $430m in duff profits for a period of many years.
The Frank Sinatra 'Comeback of The Year' Award
The Kylie Minogue 'I Should Be So Lucky' Award
Winner - Peter Kerr, the UBS Seattle-based banker who scooped $9.3m in the Washington Lotto in June. He vowed to stay working at the bank.
The Johnny Nash 'I Can See Clearly Now' Award
Winner - former DrKW banker Mark Schiffer, who won $7.25m in damages from a New York laser eye center earlier this year, after claiming that he began to suffer distorted and blurred vision after surgery.
The CityNews 'If I Were A Rich Man' Award
Winner - Joseph Perella. The former Morgan Stanley M&A king made a cool $35m soon after he left the firm earlier this year, when he personally advised credit card company MBNA when it was taken over by Bank of America. Oh, and Perella will pick up a further $6.5m at the year-end as part of his deal when he left Morgan Stanley.
The 'Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned' Award
Winner - Edouard Stern, the former Head of Lazard, who earlier this year was murdered by Cecile Brossard, a former call girl who he had enjoyed a longstanding relationship with, and who shot him because of an argument over $1m which he is said to have promised her.
The CityNews 'Sledgehammer To Crack A Nut' Award
Winner - Bank of America, for sacking top rated analyst Andrew Susser. And all because he published some research on the hotel industry with his face superimposed onto the head of a fully-clothed woman, who was being carried by a man across the threshold of a hotel room. Susser was soon hired by a firm which clearly had a better perspective on life.
The CityNews 'Diamonds Are Forever' Award
Winner - Nicola Horlick, who threw her £50,000 ring under a bush while she fought off an armed robber. The robber escaped on a motor-scooter. Ms Horlick recovered her ring and went back to work.
The John Edward 'Crossing Over' Award
Winner - The two Bank of America investment bankers who, during an interview with a potential employee, are said to have found out about a lucrative M&A deal. Crossing the line, one of them later called up one of the companies, seeking to muscle in. BofA fired the pair when it found what had gone on.
The 'X-Factor' Banker of The Year
Winner - the JP Morgan VP who, in May, jumped out from behind a tree (wearing nothing but a condom) on a popular New Jersey hiking trail and exposed himself to a female passer-by. She happened to be an off-duty cop!