Well, now that the Oscars are over for another year, CityNews thought it was time to reveal the winners of our own first annual 'Alternative Banking Awards'.
The 'I'm All Right Jack, We Got Jobs' Award goes to:
India, China and the other developing countries who are likely to take up to two million of our financial services jobs in the next five years.
The CityNews 'Couldn't Give A XXXX Award' goes to:
The Citigroup analyst who was allegedly escorted from the bank's premises just before Christmas after he was said to have returned to the office slightly the worse for wear. According to newspaper reports at the time, the analyst stood on his secretary's desk and urinated. His trousers are believed to have been put in a Citigroup microwave to dry, although he is said to have left the bank premises in his underpants.
The Muhammad Sa'id al-Sahhaf (former Iraqi Information Minister) Award goes to:
ABN Amro. Newspapers reported last year that a stockbroker only found out that he had lost his job at the bank when he discovered that his car park pass wasn't working properly. Allegedly it was the car park attendent himself who finally broke the bad news to the banker that he wouldn't be using the parking facilities any more.
The 'I'm A City Superwoman, Get Me Out Of Here' Award goes jointly to:
Nicola Horlick and Robin Saunders, both of whom quit high profile positions during the year.
The 'Banking Is A Risky Business' Award goes jointly to:
National Australia Bank for allowing 4 FX dealers to rack up US$270m in unauthorized trading losses last year and Merrill Lynch, for allegedly not discovering that former energy trader Daniel Gordon had stiffed them for $43m until 18 months after the event.
The CityNews 'Ripping Yarn' Award goes to:
The Swedish banker who was awarded US$100,000 in compensation after being allegedly sacked from his job after blowing his top when a more junior colleague came into office and broke wind. The sacked banker was quoted as saying: 'My colleague was absolutely aware of the awful smell. It was pure provocation'.
Finally, the CityNews 'Financial Personality of the Year Award' goes to:
Former chairman of The New York Stock Exchange Dick Grasso. Not only did he legally manage to walk off with a $140m compensation package last year, but he thumbed his nose up at the exchange when officials subsequently asked for most of it back.